Cannibalism

You were waiting for this, weren't you? I thought so. Once you heard that Jikei and I met based on our beliefs on the subject, you just had to know. Am I right?
I have nothing wrong with cannibalism. There are certain people I'd prefer no one else ate, but what can I say? Capitalism and Cannibalism rhyme for a reason. If cannibalism was legalized, I would be the first to eat human flesh. I'd grill it after marinating it in lemon and chives. I'm sure the sourness from the lemon would be horrible with salty human flesh, but the muscle would be good. I'd have to cover it in barbecue sauce afterward. That would be divine! I'd have to put it in something else.A bun or something. I don't think I could do straight human steak. I could do cheek. human cheeks, grilled, along with some grilled carrots and celery...mmm...
And no, I have never killed anyone. I don't want to kill anyone. I'd eat it if it was legalized and human meat was sold in stores, between beef and pork.
Oh, and I'd consider brining it instead of lemon/chive marinade.

Hair Dye

I like to dye my hair. I don't dye it unnatural colors or anything, I just dye it brown, red, black, whatever. It looks horrible black and I know it, but that's what I do. So, got a problem with it? I don't. If someone wants to dye their hair lime green, though, it had better be for a good reason. We can't have those freaks walking the streets, polluting our beautiful hair color palette! Sure, paintings look better with lots of colors, but people aren't paint! I don't want someone walking down my street looking like this!

People aren't meant to look like that. Neither are Lemmings. There's nothing wrong with an over-sized shirt every once in a while (I sleep in one, but mine's got short sleeves), but green hair? Really? Someone needs to burn every place that sells those colors. Better yet, someone needs to feed them to the people who buy them. That serve them right.

And I know I've probably offended people, so I'll apologize and pretend I didn't suggest killing people. I won't do it, I swear. Cross my heart and all that jazz.

Pornography

Ah ha! Pornography. Most common thing on the internet. Why? People look at it and it's easy to make. Hey, I didn't say it was all well-done. I've seen some horrible porn. Like, they spent all of 5 seconds editing it, if that. I like the kind that has some effort put into it. Yes, I said it. I like porn. The only kinds of people I know who don't are:

• Children (who can't legally look at it)
• Zealots (Who follow their religion to a T)
• Liars (Who pretend they don't, but actually watch it)

Yeah, more people watch it than admit to watching it. Kind of like masturbation. I don't see why people don't admit they do it. Everyone's done it at least once in their lives (unless they couldn't).
Face it, we've all looked at porn and we've all masturbated. Admit you do it and get it off your chest. I mean that figuratively, but I'm sure a few of you may actually be doing one or both right now. I don't want to hear about it if you are. It's private. Admit you do it, not that you are doing it. Got that?
After all, the internet is for porn.

Old Men

I know I touched on the subject in my previous post, but I wanted to expand on it. I believe I said my next post would be about a book, but it's not, so deal with it. I'll blog about what I want to blog about when I want to blog about it, dammit!
So, anyone else think old men are awesome? I do. I love being around old people in general, as long as they're not the perverted type. The only excuse I have to indulge their fantasies is that they're going to die soon. They want to see a moderately average girl dance for them? Fine. They want poon? Hell no. I'm not into old men like that. Old men may kick ass and have cool stories, but they're still old and I'm not a whore. I do enjoy casual sex, but with people my own age who I know are safe. Old men should do the same. It's not like they have to worry about getting an old woman pregnant. Why exactly do old men get off on girls my age? Okay, that makes sense, but why ones like me? I'm hopelessly average. Why can't they just look at porn?
Did I just promote pornography? Yes, I did, but more on that in my next post.

New Recruit!

I've been recruited to this blogging thing now, so if I seem a little hesitant, it's 'cause I'm new to this and haven't done it before. Forgive me for being a little awkward, 'k? So what do you all think of me? Probs nothing, but I'll listen if you tell me what you think of what I say. Promise.

What to talk about, what to talk about. How about a movie? No? Maybe a book? Not into that? Well, I like books, so I'll say something about those later, 'k?

I know, I'll talk about myself! I know myself. I know what I like to say about myself. I know what people lie about when they talk to me about me (like those who think I'm pretty, 'cause I'm not). I like foods with strong flavors, books, video games, board games, small children (not large ones or older ones. They piss me off), cookies (mix of all 4 flavors), hygeine, and old people. Old people are awesome, don't ya think? Especially the old women who say whatever they want. Old men who do it are a little creepy. They always talk to me and check me out and aren't afraid to tell me they want me. It's creepy. Really, can't they get old poon? They gotta hit on little girls?

Back to me...I dislike the old men I was talking about, poachers, other criminals, mean people, people who don't defend what they believe in, unhealthy food, and goats. Goats scare me.

Oh, and the name for this blog comes from my name. Hellban is what all my friends call me 'cause it's a hell of a lot cooler than Hayley Bannon. You agree? Feel free to tell me! I'll try to answer, got it? If I don't answer it's 'cause I'm busy, so wait patiently, 'k?