I do, right?

I have recently been accused of not having a soul by someone I'm sure reads this blog, whether or not they admit to it. He said I need to find one before I can have a soulmate and he seemed rather insistent. He's wrong, right? I have a soul, don't I? Don't I? I'm not sure what it looks like because I haven't seen it in a while, but I'm sure if I looked hard enough I could find it. Or do I really not have one? Where would I look? What if it's dusty or fragile or already broken? Is it something I could have sold like a chicken? What if it was the chicken? No, I don't think it was. Maybe I gave it to someone and thought it was a fruitcake? Maybe there's only one soul and I don't have it today? Maybe it really is like a fruitcake, being passed around for eternity. Maybe I didn't inherit one? Maybe there's a soul gene? I'm sure I would have gotten that, right? What if I have thousands of souls and lose one every month? What if it's something that girls don't have? Maybe it's like a hymen and breaks the first time? Maybe it's like something else and gets removed at a certain point in life? Well, if you're reading this, o great expert on souls, you could answer some of my questions? Maybe someone else can confirm that I do, indeed, have a soul? I promise a hug to the first person! It's redeemable upon actually meeting me in person, of course, and I'm a very busy girl. Maybe being busy a lot means I have no soul? What if I baked it into a cake? Mmm, soul cake.